Any harp players on here?

Yup, I'm trying to learn the harp. Tis a right bastard but I'm a determined old holiday and I don't believe in giving in - not too soon anyway.

So, any advice from experienced harp folks would help me very muchly.

If you can play, I already hate you, you bastid!

But, as I also need your help and advice I hate you even more - bastid, bastid!

Stringed harp, blues harp? I can play the blues harp.

Blues harmonica Biil?

I fucking hate you.

I can also play the jews harp

Tight cunt eh?

Yes lol.

Actually, no, I am stupid silly with money and give it to Mandy to look after for me.

I thought I'd teach myself the harp whilst driving to work.

I gave up when I kept on getting my 'tache jammed up into it!

Yep, same thing keeps happening to me, even though I got a 'whisker friendly' one - total bollocks, still nearly ripped my top lip orf!!

To shave or not to shave? Hmm, seeing my pus without whiskers after 28 years I'll probably give meself a heart attack!

Doesn't affect mine. Are you running it over your lips? If so that is wrong. You should have your lips over the edges of the harp and use your tongue to block the holes.

Tip, don't start with a cheap chinky, try and get a proper German Hohner to learn on.

Mines over 2 inches long (under the nose even) and gets everywhere. It even pokes me in the eye if I'm not carefull.

lwt big cheese wrote:Mines over 2 inches long .

So we've heard, but only just!!

Bill (the boss) wrote:Doesn't affect mine. Are you running it over your lips? If so that is wrong. You should have your lips over the edges of the harp and use your tongue to block the holes.

Tip, don't start with a cheap chinky, try and get a proper German Hohner to learn on.

Bill, it's not catching your whiskers 'cos you can play the bastarding thing already. Smart arsed Cunt.

I've got a suzuki and a couple of lee oskars. The suzuki does sound brilliant but they all still keep grabbing my fucking mouser!

To learn properly, I'm going to have to shave my top lip....Bugger!

Lee Oskars are fucking sweet, never tried a Suzuki

I've got 3 in the garage. Hopefully one will be running in the not too distant future.

And I bet you get your pubic hair caught on them.

Naah, they're going grey and falling out.
From certain angles my todger now looks like Sean Connery.

Mine looks like Bill.

I didn't think your todger was 51. Is it wrinkly or just rough hairy?

My todger looks just like............................................................Well, a todger.

That's not what the 'lady' in the next village said. Something on the lines of 'You call that a Wullie?'
Then she said something about haggises and midgies. I couldn't understand anything else as she was talking in some kind of strange code.
She was frae Glasgie, the gurbils or gerbils or gobbles.

Oh yes, Gorbals!!!

What a lying cunt you are Al, there are NO ladies in the next village!